So, from when your mom was a little tyke, Grampa Faiman always took care of her. Most of this, I heard about from Gramma Faiman - she never lets a person forget every last thing they did for you because then you owe her. When I was little, he would buy the store out of baby food and he would give me baths in a little plastic tub. They would babysit me during the day and he would haul me around in a sleigh in the winter. I still have that sleigh and I think he will be delighted when I haul you around in it! As I got older, he would drive me all over and he would try so hard to impart his wisdom on me. But, you know your mom, even at 5 I knew everything and his cliche of "haste makes waste" just sounded like an excuse as to why he drove so slow! He would make me pancakes for breakfast and they would always be burnt :) He would take me to ZipMart and give me money for candy - it was a little old shack on 36th & Chandler where all of us Gilder kids would go get our sugar fixes. He would go through McDonalds and buy us ice cream cones. He would make sugar cookies with me & Gramma but he was always stingy with the frosting - we had to supplement. He would give me $2 bills whenever he found them. Those are just some of the memories I have of him.
As I got older and your Gramma & Grampa got divorced, we had a rough times where things didn't always go smoothly. Grampa Faiman would drive over and make sure that we had groceries. He would pay the utilities so we had water, electricity & gas. If fruit was on sale (cherries, grapes, peaches, watermelon), he would always bring me a big bag. He took me to school and picked me up. I lived with them for awhile too. He drove the same car for my entire life - a blue Chevy Malibu. Everyone who knew him, also knew his car. He would drive down our street on his way home and just honk. When he would come over, he would arrive by tooting the horn. That car is the last tangible thing we have of Grampa! While Grampa didn't have riches, he always had a big heart and always made sure that I had the bare essentials to get by. He would say that he made sure I had food and a warm house. His way of life didn't require fancy cars, houses, electronics or anything else. If you had food and a warm house, that was enough to get by. And, he was right - I could learn a thing or two from him.
When your dad and I got married, I made all the men wear tuxes. I only teared up two times during that day - when your Great Aunt Lee came downstairs and when Grampa Faiman came downstairs. Seeing him all dressed up in his tux and feeling those emotions of everything he had done for me was just overwhelming!
Grampa passed away suddenly in July 2002. He came home and he was eating soup and all of a sudden, his head was on the table. He had suffered a major heart attack. They tried to revive him for hours and ended up fixing his heart but, by then, he had too much damage to his brain. His death was the first major one in my life. I know that I am lucky because I was 27 years old and hasn't experienced such a major loss. But, it didn't make it any easier to deal with. At Christmas that year, our family pictures had little orbs in them where I think he was standing with us :) In January 2003, your dad and I had our wedding blessed in the Catholic Church and that night, I just sobbed. It was our first family event that he should have been at. It surprised me because your dad knew (probably before I did) why I was so upset.
Unfortunately, enough time has passed that I don't think about Frankie as much as I used to. Oh, I still remember him and all he did for me but that ache of him being gone is no longer there. I am telling you kiddo, there are a few people that I can name that shaped me into the person that I am and he would have been one of them. Although I might have had other family members that would have stepped in and helped when I needed it, he was always there first and got the job done. I don't know where I would have landed or how I would have turned out without him.
I hope that you have met your Grampa Faiman along the way and I hope that he is looking out for you.
Christmas 2001
OK, so Grampa isn't in this one but I figured I would show you the photo I referenced above. See that circle? It only showed up on family photos and not any individual photos. We know that he was standing there with us :)