Hi Kiddo! When you are older and read these, you will probably have an attitude like I would have. "Why is my mom rambling on and on with her sermons? She is worse than a preacher at church and I already know everything." But, maybe as an adult, you will appreciate it. So, today's post is about those books I told you about.
In June, we discussed The Shack by William Young. Your Aunt Becky sent me a letter telling me that she thought I should read it because it might help me. As a sidenote, when I say a letter, I don't mean an email - I mean an honest to goodness handwritten letter in the mail. That definitely got my attention. I bought the book and read it right away. I thought it was inspiring. Since then, people have wrote that they thought it was childish or stupid but to each his own. The book painted a picture of God as a loving, caring God. It didn't show a vengeful God who is just out to punish us. I like that vision. In the book, God said something along the lines of How can I ever be mad at my children? Before they are even born, I know what mistakes they are going to make so I am not disappointed or shocked when they do. It also really reinforced something that I mentioned in my other post - it is not my place to judge others. It is God's job. At the time that we discussed this book in book club, a Kansas abortion doctor was killed. Many pro-life people celebrated his murder because they felt that he deserved it based on his profession. However, is it up to us to judge that? I believe that God teaches us to love each other - "Love thy neighbor" - because no matter what, he loves us. Why should I dislike someone because they have a profession that I wouldn't do? Why should I dislike someone because they love people of the same gender? If God doesn't agree with those actions, then it is his job to deal with the consequences - not mine. I hope I have done a good job in explaining that to you because I really want you to believe that too. I am not saying that I am not judgmental, because I am. But, I want to teach you about the larger picture. Between reading this book & the murder I mentioned, it really hit me full force that it is not my right to judge.
The second book we read was Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. It isn't necessarily a book that I want you to read to teach you religion but there were a few key points in there that were poignant to me. In the book, a character asks another character if he believes in God. He goes on and on about how he doesn't believe in certain parts of Christianity or Buddhism or Judaism, etc. She says to him "I didn't ask you if you believe in religion. I asked you if you believe in God." That was a key point to me and one I hope I conveyed in my earlier post. I honestly don't care if you don't believe in religion but I truly pray that you believe in God - and I feel that there is a big difference. Organized religion was created by humans and ran by humans and many inhumanities have taken place in the name of religion. However, I don't think that they necessarily speak for God.
The second point in the book is probably best to be quoted word for word. It is a problem that I struggle with constantly - why does God let bad things happen? Why are children abused? Why are animals abused? Why doesn't he stop these things? A constant in most conversations about God is that he gave us free will. He doesn't want us to do the things that we sometimes do but he gave us free will to make those decisions and can't interfere at that point. This passage in Angels and Demons just plain resonated with me and I hope it will make some sense to you as well.
Guard: Terrible things happen in this world. Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn't he?
Priest: Would he?
Guard: Well...if God loves us and He can protect us, He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring or benevolent and powerless to help.
Priest: Do you have children?
Guard: No
Priest: Imagine you had an 8 year old son. Would you love him?
Guard: Of course
Priest: Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?
Guard: Of course.
Priest: Would you let him skateboard?
Guard: Yeah, I guess. Sure, I'd let him skateboard but I'd tell him to be careful.
Priest: So as this child's father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?
Guard: I wouldn't run behind him and mollycoddle him if that's what you mean.
Priest: But, what if he fell and skinned his knee?
Guard: He would learn to be more careful.
Priest: So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child's pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?
Guard: Of course. Pain is a part of growing up. It's how we learn.
Priest: Exactly.
This passage is purely fiction but it did more explaining to me than any religious material I have ever read. Even though it hurts, God has to let us make our own choices and mistakes so we can grow and learn from them. I talk about this more in your brothers' book but I relate this to our fertility treatments. We got pregnant by using medical science but we lost all the babies. It wasn't our time and I feel like we tried to tempt fate. We grew and learned a lot from those experiences and it wasn't all pleasant. God could have spared us the pain of not getting pregnant but we would not have the outlook that we do today. Then, when we stop trying, here you are growing like a weed in there.
The third point of that book also probably deserves a direct quote but I am going to paraphrase a bit.
Daughter: Father, why do you bother to pray? God cannot answer you
Father: So you don't believe God speaks to man? Man only uses a small portion of his brain but in emotionally charged situations - like physical trauma, extreme joy or fear, deep meditation - they brains start working like crazy and they have enhanced mental clarity.
D: So what? Just because you think clearly doesn't mean that you talk to God.
F: And yet remarkable solutions to seemingly impossible problems often occur in these moments of clarity. Some call it higher consciousness, some call it altered states, and some call it answered prayers. Sometimes, divine revelation means adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knows.
Again, totally fiction but it resonated deeply with me. I can't tell you how many times I have had a thought pop in my head and then patted myself on the back for how genius I am. Just like when I was wondering about you & your purpose here - all of a sudden, I had a clear thought that you are an answer to prayers in either direction. That "aha" moment came from God. Until I read that in the book, I never thought of those things like that but now I totally believe it.
The book's main purpose was to talk about how Science & Religion interact with each other. Can science explain religion? Are they working at opposite ends of the realms? This was an easy answer for me - science is inspired by God. God gave someone the skill to create fertility treatments to help millions & millions of people. However, it still wasn't meant for us to be so his plan kicked in until we were ready. I learned that I really do put God at the middle of everything - music, art, science, and even our thoughts. My friend Kim countered that with "But, then why do his creations sometimes get used for bad. For example, nuclear energy could be used for good or for world wars. Why would he do that?" Well, that is where I go back to free will - we choose to use our gifts and resources for evil.
As I have typed these last two posts, it is somewhat amazing to me that I went from a place where I thought I had no faith to this person that leaves everything to faith. I would think if a stranger read this, they would think that I am ultra religious and have a strong relationship with God. The former is definitely not true and the latter is still tested daily!
To wrap up, I leave you with one last testament of my beliefs and views. I look around me sometimes and see such beauty that I can't help but think it couldn't be created by anything or anyone other than God. Sunsets are a perfect example. Surprisingly, I see some pretty darn beautiful sunsets in Omaha. That vast sky of oranges, yellows, and pinks often takes my breath away. In a park in Portland, I was overwhelmed with emotions at how beautiful the scenery is. When we drive to the Keys and see that ocean all around us, I can't help but think of its natural beauty. It is during those routine moments where I see beauty, grace and ultimately God. I hope you see the same!
