I was feeling a little reminiscent tonight. It was bed time and you monkeys just plain didn't want to go to sleep. Joey was laying on my tummy wanting some mommy time. I started thinking back, way back to how things were the day with Little M, the day my water broke with the twins and the day of their birth. I started thinking about all the days that led me to this night. This night snuggled up with 2 baby boys. 2 boys that are mine. 2 boys that I never thought I would have.
I went out to look at my scrapbooks and it was such a treat. I started out sad by just looking at the boys' albums and their little alien baby photos. Then, I started in 2007 and worked up to Joey being born. It is amazing how much you forget in life. Little things. Big things. Somedays, my scrapbooks seem like a chore. Somedays I want to just chuck my camera. But, looking through those books & reading what I had written was cathartic.
I laughed at some pages - silly cousin night pages, Cory's drunken wedding night page (actually make that 2 nights - the night of the wedding in November where I was cutting my steak with a spoon and the night in April where I was doing who knows what). I laughed that we loosened the ban on allowing in-laws in wedding photos but each wedding photo is now outdated because someone is outta there. Will be interesting to see who makes the cut at Brian's wedding. I almost want to tell Mark to stay out. Maybe being in the photo is a jinx.
I smiled at pages of Larry. I smiled at pages of Grampa Lang's last birthday. I wrote that he went and got a big plate of food at the casino and came back and said "You don't have to sing happy birthday to me or anything." and then gave one of his little grins. I smiled when I wrote that I spent the day that he died with him & even on that last day, he said "Your gramma is picking on me, Stacy." I smiled when I wrote that I hope that I never forget hearing his voice saying "Hiya babe." And, so far I haven't. I smiled when I saw old photos of me and can see Joey so clearly in them.
I got sad at photos of the babies. So much loss. I didn't remember that we had given them middle names. I knew it was Xander & Jacob but I didn't realize it was Xander Joseph & Jacob Robert. Hello Joseph Robert.... guess that wasn't too original after all. But, I did get a Lang thrown in there. I don't think he twins had a Lang in there.
I got sad that so many people are gone. I got sad that my babies are growing up so quickly. I got sad that I can't document every moment of everyday because I already forget things. But, overall, I enjoyed my walk down memory lane and am happy for the times I had forgotten about and documented.
Elijah is so darn excited. Brian and Erica asked him to be a part of their wedding. I showed him photos of my wedding and how he will have to dress up and be super good. I told him he would help with walking the rings down the aisle. He is so excited that we are getting a big house and the whole family is going to Denver for a big sleep over. He brings it up like every other day. The last time, he said "Where is Erica going to be?" I told him that she was going to walk behind him. He said "Is she going to be a princess?" I had to stop for a second because I thought it was the coolest question ever. I assured him that Erica indeed, was going to be a princess.
Joey changes everyday. He loves music and loves to sing. He loves the ipad and putting on Yo Gabba Gabba songs. He says please when he wants something. He tells me what songs to sing. He gets ornery and arches his back and throws himself on the floor. He screams when he doesn't get his way. It is a high pitched angry scream. He isn't as affectionate as Elijah was - he isn't as free with his hugs and kisses. But, his smile lights up his whole face just like his Grampa Bill. He is my baby :)
The boys play together a lot better now. Like I expect their whole life to be, they will play together for a few minutes and a toy will get fought over and they will scream until someone cries. 3 minutes later, they are best buddies. Elijah still thinks of Joey as a little underling but I am not sure how much longer that will last. Once Joey is talking, Elijah is screwed. :) He will get mad at me and tell Joey "Come on baby, let's get out of here." Or, he will share a treat with him "Here you go, baby." Then, 10 minutes later he is screaming "Don't touch my toy, JOEY."
Hopefully, we will have some good Valentine's Day photos to share!
