Well squirts, let’s just throw it out on the table. One of you is holding out on us. We went into our doctor’s appointment with the highest expectations of learning your genders. One of you (Xander), proudly displayed your jewels at any given opportunity. The other one of you laid on top of them and basically laughed at us. Both the tech and Dr. Bonebrake tried wiggling you around to show us and you laughed at us again (let’s admit it – you were also probably flipping us off). We won’t know for another 2 weeks – if you decide to help us out then. The U/S tech guessed a 2nd boy but she couldn’t be sure.
We did get to watch you for a long time today – they were very thorough in their measurements. We saw your fingers, your toes, your brain, your kidneys, stomachs, bones and spine. You were moving around a bit today but you are starting to get so big. It looks like you are kicking each other upside the head. They said you each weigh 6 oz now. With all the weight mom has put on (13 lbs), it sure would be a nice thing to hear that you have contributed to more than ¾ of a lb. :-)
We are going to go back in 2 weeks. This was unexpected for us as we didn’t think we were going back for 4 weeks. However, there is apparently a lot of testing that is done at 18 weeks so they want us to come back. Personally, I think it was because I complained to the doc how expensive he was and he said he never knew how much his services cost. Next thing you know, we are invited back in two weeks instead of four. I am kidding on that one because he is a good doctor and a fun doctor!
I had a big realization today. I really don’t care “what” you are. I don’t care if there are two boys or two girls (that seems pretty unlikely) or one of each. I had thought I had wanted two of the same gender then I had thought I had wanted one of each. Last appointment, I was so sure it was one of each and I started fretting about decorations and two sets of clothing and all of those frivolous things. Today, it fully hit me that I don’t really care. As long as you come out healthy, I will be happy. Yeah, yeah, I know, the families are still rooting for a boy/girl but I no longer harbor any secret wishes or desires – just come out full term (35 weeks would be good – 2/9) and with all of the health you can muster.
Speaking of health, I have this topic rolling around in my mind today. I know you might wonder why I bother to type all of this to you when I can lecture you on it when you are older (and you can roll your eyes because, like your mom, you will think you already know it all at the ripe age of 10). I type it now for a couple of reasons. 1) It gives me something to do while I wait for you to hit 35 weeks and pop out. 2) It makes me feel a bit closer to you even if you aren’t reading it. 3) I truly believe that you are going to fry my brain and I won’t remember all of this when you need to hear it! 4) Finally, if raising you doesn’t fry my brain, if you act like me and your dad, I will need to drink heavily and that will fry my brain.
So, back to health. I had a sobering reminder today that I have to be careful with mine. My blood sugars are starting to rise with you. I am a diabetic in remission. This means that I am diabetic but I don’t need to do anything “special” to control it since I have lost a lot of weight. However, since you have been in the picture, I have been indulging in junk WAY TOO OFTEN and it is catching up with me. I have to get it under control NOW or you could suffer the consequences. Yep, your mom got a healthy reality check and self-imposed dose of guilt today!
I have always taken my health for granted. I knew that my family history had mounds of bad things that I could inherit but I didn’t care. At 18, I gained a bunch of weight. Lost it at 20 and started gaining it all back plus some at 22. I finally got in control of it at 32 – oh wait, and now you are here and the scale is going back up again! 10 years of obesity – I am not talking obesity like some skinny people do “Oh, I am so overweight, I need to lose 10 whole pounds.” I am talking obesity like weighing more than 135 pounds more than the infamous chart says or weighing more than 105 pounds more than I should to be “normal” on the BMI scale. I ate whatever I wanted, drank whatever I wanted and exercise was non-existent. Do you want to know what this got me? Let’s see – self-esteem issues, high cholesterol, increased risk for heart attacks and worst, diabetes. The bad thing is that I was warned about having diabetes and you know what? At 28 or so, I still thought I knew it all and decided it wasn’t that big of a deal to be diabetic. Pop some pills and life is good. Boy was I wrong – at least when it comes to you squirts. Diabetes is life threatening to you. I have to be so careful while you are hitching a ride in my tummy. There is no proof of this but that diabetes could have been a factor in our prior miscarriages. The weight itself also could have been a cause. We won’t ever know but it weighs on my heart daily that these theories could be a possibility.
So, where am I going with all of this? Well, hopefully, I am laying a big fat (haha – nice pun) guilt trip on you to watch your weight and eat well. In your genetic line, I know that you have a high risk of: Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, and heart disease. Oh, and that is just my side of the family. On Dad’s side, we know that you carry a high risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes and high cholesterol. While we will never know if all of these are 100% weight induced, I bet that if you can keep healthy, you will avoid some of these things or at least lower your risks.
Your dad and I have already discussed in detail how we are going to try to raise you with a good example and feed you in a healthy manner. But, let’s face it, you aren’t with us every minute of every day of your life. When you get older, you will hit fast food with your friends, you will drink some alcohol (probably before you are 21 – we can save that discussion for another day), you will probably smoke some pot (to which your dad will have a heart attack on the spot – again, a conversation for another day) and you will make some irresponsible choices. However, I hope that you will have a good foundation from us to make responsible choices the majority of the time and if that doesn’t work, we can continue to scare you with all the doom and gloom of what can happen to you if you don’t.
I suppose that when your old mom is lazy after you are born, I will have to go back and read this myself to get a reminder of the plagues that ail me too! I will have to work hard to get back to where I was when you were conceived and to my ultimate goal – which was an additional 20 lbs. to be lost.
Enough depressing stuff for today! Good news – you are healthy, still growing and kicking and we will see you in another two weeks.