As I type this, you are still in the 3rd floor NICU hanging out with your daddy & I am home with your brother. We have had a rough few days after your scare. We had 48 hours of you not getting any food and you were a fussy pants because you were hungry! We just tried to love you up as much as possible and get you through the crying stages.
Once you got cleared for food, you chugged 2 bottles of 20 cc immediately. After that, you slowed down a bit. You were kind of fidgety and gassy. By the 4th bottle, you slept through it and we were really nervous. You ate 10 then they put your feeding tube back in. I have to be honest with you buddy, I lost hope at that point. When you quit eating, I resigned myself to the fact that you were going to be in the NICU for 18 years. :) When I woke up, daddy happily reported that you had 3 feedings of 30 and you chugged them down. So, I got a few more inklings of hope that you were doing OK. We are waiting for the dr to do rounds and decide what your plan will be for today. The dr had told us yesterday he expected you to progress from this point and be home mid-week but I am too scared to get my hopes up!
I have to keep it real with you buddy. You being there and Elijah being elsewhere is really hard on your daddy and me. If we are spending time with Elijah, we are feeling guilty that you are laying there alone in your crib in the NICU. If we are spending time with you, we are feeling guilty that Elijah is being left alone without his mommy & daddy. It is hard to get that time equal. I can tell that Elijah is having a hard time of things. He is very clingy, he is throwing tantrums and needs us too. I worry that your first two weeks of life in the NICU is going to impact all your attachments and bonding for the rest of your life. I know, I am silly and I think too much but all of these worries are in my mind and I just want you home :)
In all of this turmoil, I did get some good photos of you this week. Here is one of them.
