Hi Baby Elijah,
Today, I am going to tell you about your Grampa Lang. In theory, your Grampa Keith should be called Grampa Lang but I can't bring myself to do that. Grampa Lang is reserved for your Great Grampa Lang. You know your mom has kind of weird views on life after death but I really hope that you have met your Grampa Lang in your journey to make your way to us. You have a lot of Grampas up there in heaven - Grampa Lang, Grampa Faiman, Grampa Bill, Grampa Bob, Grampa Larry, Grampa Bill and even Grampa Blankman - I can only pray that they helped us with the miracle that is you.
I have this weird thing going on in my head that your Gramma and Grampa Lang are 55. I guess they haven't aged in my head for over 25 years. I know it is illogical since your Grampa Keith is almost 55 himself but in my eyes and in my heart, they haven't aged. That is why it took me so off guard when Grampa Lang was diagnosed with cancer. How can my Grampa get sick? In my head, they were in the prime of their lives. I will never forget when I learned he was sick and that it was not able to be cured. It knocked me on my butt. I know that there will be people in our family that would disagree with this but I really respected the way he made his decision to handle his illness. I didn't respect that he hid it from us in the beginning but I did respect that he made a decision to refuse treatment and stuck with it even in the face of grief from others. I truly believe that the year he had after he was diagnosed was of better quality than they would have been if he had been going through chemo or radiation.
I would probably say that Grampa was the funsucker when I was little. I knew that he always loved us and he genuinely liked having his grandkids around. However, he liked it quiet and he liked kids to be seen and not heard. One example is that I remember getting in trouble with your cousin Brandi for giggling too loud. But, as we got older and learned to respect his boundaries, then he became someone you could sit down with at the kitchen table and have conversations with. He was still strict with us but as we got older, our relationships changed with him. I have told you a few times about your Gramma Lang and I will still vote that she scares me more than Grampa did but I never wanted to cross your Grampa either. He would give you that ominous look over the top of his glasses and that look was enough to stop you in your tracks.
Your Grampa was funny. He would always flirt with your Gramma and he would pretend to be so offended when she rolled her eyes. He would always talk about them growing old together and holding hands on the front porch - I don't know that any of us saw them holding hands but to hear it from him, you would think they were on the porch nightly rocking, holding hands and gazing at the stars. He liked the simple things - good TV, good food, mowing his grass, managing the pickles at the bar, playing the stock market and a cold beer. You always knew what he was up to because you just had to look at the kitchen table and see his mini yellow sticky notes with all of his tasks or notes on them. Every Christmas morning, he would cook us all breakfast and order us out of the kitchen when our shift was over. He always said he bought our Christmas presents and then asked to see what we got from him.
Grampa was always fair. I don't think he ever showed favoritism to any of his kids or his grandkids. If one of us got something, each of us got something. He was also fair when I needed advice. If I called him, I knew he would give me a straight answer rather than an answer that might benefit someone else. He tried to teach all of us financial responsibility. I sure wish I would have listened more!
As your Grampa was battling his cancer, I really admired his attitude. I had a few talks with him and I hope that I could handle a terminal illness with that grace. I never once heard him feel sorry for himself or say "why me?" In each conversation that I had with him, he was just worried about Gramma and how she would manage all their affairs without him. He wasn't worried about his mortality - I asked him if he was scared and he said "No, I have had a good long life." Gramma is still finding little notes he left her about how to do something or where to find something. He is also still picking on her every once and awhile by hiding her money or ticking her off by putting leaves on the glassed in porch.
I think that I have inherited your grampa's strictness. We will see how that plays out when you are here but that is my vote now :) Physically, I got your grampa's butt chin and, unfortunately, his diabetes. I was doing my hair recently and I looked at my ears and I think I inherited his big old ears. haha. He was stubborn too and I got that too. I wish I would have inherited his ability to say "I love you." I wish I would have inherited his financial responsibility. I hope that I am fair like he was. I hope that I inherited his love for knowledge - I always thought it was great that he was in his late 60s but taking computer classes so he could manage his stocks online. I hope that you inherit his butt chin (I know it sounds silly but it truly is one Lang characteristic that I hope you get), his financial responsibility and his ability to laugh at himself. I hope you avoid our stubbornness, fine hair, big ears and diabetes.
I miss him sitting at the kitchen table or in his recliner and hearing him say "Hi Babe" when I walked in the door. I miss him laughing and winking at me. I miss him telling everyone that Gramma is always picking on him. I miss that sense of innocence that I had that Gramma and Grampa were young and would be around forever. I am sad that you won't have the chance to meet him and adore those things about him. I am sad that I won't be able to see his face light up when he would hold you. I still dream about him frequently and, even in my dreams, I cry knowing he is gone. But, your cousin Brandi will tell us that he told her on Saturday that he is still with us. We will just have to have hope that he is going to be watching out for you now and when you get here. I have read a lot of stories about younger kids seeing deceased family members and talking to them. My hope for you is that you will be able to see all these grampas and learn from them even though the rest of us have a heavy heart that they aren't here anymore.
