I am still at the hospital and hoping to come home tomorrow. They wanted to do another round of antibiotics to make sure I was all healed. Right now, I am scheduled to return to work on 11/18 - I was shocked at how long it was!
I have to laugh at Mark's taking over command of my little blog - what would take me 3 pages to write takes him 1 sentence! I would have to say that Tuesday was the worst day of my entire life - physically and emotionally. Between the two babies and the infection, I basically had labor 3 times and drugs only dulled it once. I had 3 OR procedures with 3 anethestics. But, I am feeling better now and I am ready to go home. I thoroughly believe that anesthesia causes hair loss so if you see me in a wig, you will know why and I hope you have the good graces to ignore it :)
Just a bit about our little ones! Jacob was born at 10:45 and he was very similar to Little M. He definitely was a little baby - 10 toes, 10 fingers, arms, legs, etc but he still looked a little alien like. I was drugged up but I swear he looked like he had a little beer belly :) The only other thing I remember is that he had my nose. The hospital did an excellent job of taking photos - lots of clear photos of him, his little feet, him holding a little heart pillow.
While it was unfortunate that I was not drugged up for Xander, it was a blessing in the sense that I remember him more clearly. He was so darn cute! I could definitely see both Mark and me in him. He had my nose (apparently, my nose is predominant in our kids - all 3 had it) and in the pictures, it sure did look like he had Mark's mouth. He was really the first one that I held for an extended period of time and examined because he was the first one that was truly like a baby. While he didn't look like a Gerber baby, he also didn't look like an alien! He had long legs and arms, large hands and feet, I could move his chin and open his mouth. I triple checked for a butt chin but I firmly believe that those are not truly indented until later in the process! He was also the first one that the clothing fit on - he had a hat and robe and they had a little knit blanket for him. Our little Xander was alive when he was born and I actually got to hold him while he was moving. He was baptised and he stayed with Mark for a long time when I was in the OR. While we don't know how long - it is all a blur for Mark, I feel blessed in knowing that he died with his daddy and not necessarily by himself.
We are unsure what we are going to do with the babies from here. We are either going to move Little M and put them all together at Westlawn or we are going to talk to St John and move all 3 there. Since our plots are already purchased there - next to Larry & mom - I would like the 5 of us to be together. We will work through that next week. We will do something private with just us two and we were thinking of calling the Father who did Bob's service to come say a prayer with us.
Thanks to all of you who have called, emailed, left comments on here, visited and sent flowers. We appreciate all of your love and support. Even though we are not good at sharing our grief with others, it helps to know that we have support available when we need it. I have a feeling that the worst is yet to come for me as I get home so I will rely on my friends and family for movies, margaritas and mozzarella cheese sticks :)
Crossing fingers to be home in the morning!
