Grampa Faiman

Hi Kiddo! I missed the opportunity to tell you about your Great Grampa Faiman when his birthday rolled around so I will tell you all about him now. As of this month, Frankie has been gone 7 years. In some ways, it feels like it just happened yesterday and in others, it feels like it was 20 years ago. I do believe that he has been using these past 7 years as a vacation up in Heaven - escaping the people who drove him crazy here on earth. (I will tell you about her in real life - not doing a blog post.)

So, from when your mom was a little tyke, Grampa Faiman always took care of her. Most of this, I heard about from Gramma Faiman - she never lets a person forget every last thing they did for you because then you owe her. When I was little, he would buy the store out of baby food and he would give me baths in a little plastic tub. They would babysit me during the day and he would haul me around in a sleigh in the winter. I still have that sleigh and I think he will be delighted when I haul you around in it! As I got older, he would drive me all over and he would try so hard to impart his wisdom on me. But, you know your mom, even at 5 I knew everything and his cliche of "haste makes waste" just sounded like an excuse as to why he drove so slow! He would make me pancakes for breakfast and they would always be burnt :) He would take me to ZipMart and give me money for candy - it was a little old shack on 36th & Chandler where all of us Gilder kids would go get our sugar fixes. He would go through McDonalds and buy us ice cream cones. He would make sugar cookies with me & Gramma but he was always stingy with the frosting - we had to supplement. He would give me $2 bills whenever he found them. Those are just some of the memories I have of him.

As I got older and your Gramma & Grampa got divorced, we had a rough times where things didn't always go smoothly. Grampa Faiman would drive over and make sure that we had groceries. He would pay the utilities so we had water, electricity & gas. If fruit was on sale (cherries, grapes, peaches, watermelon), he would always bring me a big bag. He took me to school and picked me up. I lived with them for awhile too. He drove the same car for my entire life - a blue Chevy Malibu. Everyone who knew him, also knew his car. He would drive down our street on his way home and just honk. When he would come over, he would arrive by tooting the horn. That car is the last tangible thing we have of Grampa! While Grampa didn't have riches, he always had a big heart and always made sure that I had the bare essentials to get by. He would say that he made sure I had food and a warm house. His way of life didn't require fancy cars, houses, electronics or anything else. If you had food and a warm house, that was enough to get by. And, he was right - I could learn a thing or two from him.

When your dad and I got married, I made all the men wear tuxes. I only teared up two times during that day - when your Great Aunt Lee came downstairs and when Grampa Faiman came downstairs. Seeing him all dressed up in his tux and feeling those emotions of everything he had done for me was just overwhelming!

Grampa passed away suddenly in July 2002. He came home and he was eating soup and all of a sudden, his head was on the table. He had suffered a major heart attack. They tried to revive him for hours and ended up fixing his heart but, by then, he had too much damage to his brain. His death was the first major one in my life. I know that I am lucky because I was 27 years old and hasn't experienced such a major loss. But, it didn't make it any easier to deal with. At Christmas that year, our family pictures had little orbs in them where I think he was standing with us :) In January 2003, your dad and I had our wedding blessed in the Catholic Church and that night, I just sobbed. It was our first family event that he should have been at. It surprised me because your dad knew (probably before I did) why I was so upset.

Unfortunately, enough time has passed that I don't think about Frankie as much as I used to. Oh, I still remember him and all he did for me but that ache of him being gone is no longer there. I am telling you kiddo, there are a few people that I can name that shaped me into the person that I am and he would have been one of them. Although I might have had other family members that would have stepped in and helped when I needed it, he was always there first and got the job done. I don't know where I would have landed or how I would have turned out without him.

I hope that you have met your Grampa Faiman along the way and I hope that he is looking out for you.


Christmas 2001


OK, so Grampa isn't in this one but I figured I would show you the photo I referenced above. See that circle? It only showed up on family photos and not any individual photos. We know that he was standing there with us :)

Gold Star Day

Hi Baby Brigham! Thought I would change it up a bit today. We have had a rough few days, haven't we? Starting on Saturday, we haven't had a lot of luck keeping much down. I have to admit to you kiddo, your mom was pretty darn down on Monday and Tuesday. I was pretty miserable with getting sick and being nauseous. I even missed book club and I had a lot to say about the book. But, maybe that was the final hurrah of being sick? One last time before it went away? I can only pray and be so lucky!!

But, today, oh man - today was a great day. I happened to be really busy at work and the day flew by. I ate some protein cereal and was a tad nervous that it wouldn't agree with you. Next thing I knew, it was 2:00!! I totally forgot you were in there cooking - no nausea, no getting sick, nothing. Your dad and I grabbed some dinner and then...wait for it kiddo...wait for it....we even went to the gym. I exercised! I went to the pool and swam. I was somewhat sad at how out of shape I am but hey, we were there, right? We will see how that goes over with you in the next day or so.

We also listened for you today. Your dad thought he faintly heard you again. I didn't hear your heartbeat but you did punch the microphone once. That was music to my ears to hear that little blip. Few more days and I think your heartbeat will be like a bass drum on that microphone.

That is about it for today. Thank you for a day that was as close to normal as I have had in 3 months!!

Why I think you are a girl

Hi kiddo! We went into unchartered territory this week and posted your picture on Facebook. So, now everyone knows about you! I also emailed your picture to our friends and family and always referenced you as a "she" or said "her". I have been getting a lot of questions as to how I know that you are a girl. Scientifically, I have no proof that you are a girl but that is what I feel you are and I have quite a few reasons why. None of them would hold up in a court of law or even against science but I figured I would share them with you because you need to know how crazy your mom can be at times :) Also, I don't like calling you "it." Whether or not I felt like you were a girl, I would still have to call you something other than "it." OK, on to the proof that you are a girl...haha.

1) When we were pregnant with Little M, a coworker of mine "knew" that the pregnancy wouldn't work out and she had a vision of me holding a little bundle of pink in the future. Even last year when we were pregnant, she just plain didn't think that those babies were the ones in the bundle. I think it was you :)
2) The psychic said so a couple of weeks ago.
3) Before we knew you were in there cooking, I had a strange dream about your Grampa Larry & a little bit about your Great Grampa Bill. (Sidenote - you can read about your Grampa Larry in your brothers' book and I will have to tell you about Bill in another post). I dreamt that Larry was standing in the doorframe of our bedroom and I said "What are you doing here?" He said "I have something to give you." He pointed to the middle of the bedroom and there was a little girl about two or three with dark hair. I said "Who is she?" He said that "You had been living with Bill for a few years." I tried talking to the girl in my dream but the dream ended. I woke up feeling that Larry was going to give me a baby girl. I also woke up thinking if you would be Bill reincarnated but that is a different topic for you to think I am crazy about. I wish I would have wrote down when I had this dream. I think it was before you were conceived - some time in April.
4) One night, when I knew you were in there cooking, I dreamt about tons and tons of little toddler girls. Everywhere I looked in my dreams, there was a little girl. I woke up with an Aerosmith song in my head - "Pink". I have to tell you that I don't know that song and don't really even care for it. But, I woke up with one refrain playing over and over in my head - "Pink it was love at first sight, Pink when I turn out the light, and Pink gets me high as a kite." I immediately told your dad that you were a girl and he probably rolled his eyes at me.

So, there is my evidence that you are a girl. As you can see, it is highly factual and irrefutable. haha. But, I still call you she and her because that is what my gut tells me. Your Aunt Candi said that her gut is telling her that you are a boy. We will have to see who ends up winning that one :) I think we may be able to find out around my birthday but it may not be until September. Either way, I truly mean it when I say that I don't care. You just stay in there cooking and come out full term & healthy and I don't care whether you are a prince or a princess.

Secret

Hi kiddo! I have a deep, dark secret to tell you & I want you to keep it between us, ok? I have to confess that you have me scared to death. Once we saw you at the 11 week ultrasound rolling all around & kicking your legs, you were real to me. Most women feel relief when they hit this stage of their pregnancy - the scare of miscarriage is so reduced that they go on to have worry free pregnancies. However, with our past history (you can read about that in your brothers' book), we won't get to breathe that sigh of relief until about 30 weeks. I no longer have the fear that I will "miscarry" you but I still do fear that my water will break early and we would be in the same situation that we have always been in. I know, kiddo, your mom talked a tough game when I told you that you answer a prayer regardless if you are born full term or if you leave us early. In my heart, I know that it is true. However, now that I have seen you & seen you grow into a little tadpole baby, my heart wants you to fulfill the prayer of us having a family more than ever. So, what can we do to work this out? I do feel like it is the right time for us and you are a little immaculately-conceived miracle. I can't stress about it because there is nothing I can do. If you feel a little worry inside there, just know that it isn't worry really - it is just that I am sending you love to stay in there cooking. :) You need to do your part and make sure your little womb stays in tact. I will do my part by taking my vitamins, trying not to stress and going to acupuncture. Sound fair?

OK, now that we have all that worked out, maybe your mom can relax a little bit :)

12 weeks!

Hi kiddo! You are 12 weeks today. You must be kind of feisty in there because I ate breakfast & it came back up - guess you missed your cheerios this morning. We tried listening for you on our monitor and there were a couple of times that we thought we heard you very faintly but I couldn't get the exact spot. Maybe next week you will be loud and clear.

Not much to share with you today - your dad & I are back at work. It was so nice being off. We have a busy week this week - book club, bowling, CocoKeys. I hope you cooperate with it all.

Lastly, I officially started working on your blog book today. Here is the cover & I did two other pages from the May blog posts.

Happy 4th of July

Hi Kiddo!
Today is a national holiday where most people spend their time doing a BBQ, boating, and lighting off fireworks. Your dad and I are lame! We are home at 8:00 pm watching Brian play soccer on the internet and I am forcing your dad to list his 10 things he loves and 10 things he hates. We were looking forward to going to a party at our friend Sandy's house but baby sickness had another plan for me! I woke up feeling really good and was looking forward to going to Farmer's Market. I think you had other plans as out of the blue, I started getting sick. I got myself together and we took the dogs down to the Old Market. Your dad and I love the Old Market. We want to live down there but I think you are going to throw a wrench into that plan! Anyway, we bought a ton of veggies and loaded up our reusable bags.

Sidenote: Your mom is a total geek. I so love it when I use my reusable bags. It makes me feel so good that I am not wasting plastic bags and I am being responsible. I seriously get such a good feeling when I use them and today we even used our produce bags today. I also feel good when I recycle. So, you will be brought up as a green baby! Your dad said he is ok with being green but he just won't be a hippie liberal with radical views. haha.

Anywho, after we loaded up on veggies, we went over Great Gramma Lang's and took her some zucchini. She makes zucchini bread and this is the first year she hasn't done a garden. I took her two big ones but was sad to learn that it will only make two loaves. That isn't even enough for your cousin Brandi to get a fix!! We went to the store and had lunch out. Then, we came home and cooked up a storm. We made spaghetti sauce FROM SCRATCH! We used fresh tomatoes, fresh herbs, ground turkey and fresh onions. Your dad said it was the best sauce we have ever made and I am telling you kiddo, we have made some good sauces. Your dad also made homemade salsa with our finds. I am so proud of us that we used so much of the food that we bought so quickly. We have plenty of veggies to eat this week at dinner and I am going to attempt to make your Great Gramma's Bread & Butter pickles - yummy!

After we cleaned up the kitchen, we were going to head to Sandy's house but you decided differently. I was sick again! So much for fireworks over the lake this year!!

After much arm twisting, here is your dad's list of things he loves and hates!

10 things your dad loves:
1) Starbucks
2) Your mom
3) His family & friends - including our furry ones
4) KC Chiefs & KC Royals
5) Watching Movies
6) Discovery Channel
7) Scuba Diving
8) Traveling
9) Cooking
10) Roller Coasters

10 things your dad hates:
1) Radical left wing Democrats
2) People who don't know how to drive
3) Mushrooms
4) Rude people
5) When the dogs get off the bed and are restless at night
6) Yardwork
7) Cold weather
8) Being sick
9) That he hasn't finished his degree
10) When he is not at his ideal weight & feels JIGGLY!

To leave you on this holiday, I will show you a couple of 4th of July pictures from the past!

2001 at Rosenblatt


2007 celebrating with Grampa Larry & Gramma Debbie

10 things

Hi Kiddo! Your dad and I were off work yesterday and today and it is heaven. Not that we have done a whole lot but it is so nice to be off work. Your dad has still been getting some phone calls and emails because he is a superstar right now. They published 2nd quarter sales and he rocked it. He was 5th in the region and 29th in the whole country!! He is so proud of his success and I am happy for him because it took him awhile to get his feet on the ground with all the turmoil we have had going on in the past year. Not only is he a rockstar but he cooked me breakfast this morning - biscuits and gravy. How spoiled am I? Don't expect warm breakfasts when you arrive - grab a box of cereal and like it :) Later, we are going to go to acupuncture and then I think we are going to see a movie.

So, a website I visit features various scrapbook designers and they always ask them for 10 things they love and 10 things they hate. I thought I would share that with you today about your mom. I told your dad I had a job for him to do the same list and I think he about stroked out. Don't expect to see any commentary from him any time soon. He said he is "a man of few words."

10 things I love -
1) Sleep and all things related to sleep - my tempurpedic bed, the cold side of the pillow, dreams, ambien, nappies, everything.
2) Scrapbooking
3) Reading
4) Music
5) Chocolate & sweets!
6) Most of my family & my friends (including your dad & our furry family) - see kiddo, you can pick your friends so you should love all of them. However, you are stuck with your family and unfortunately, we do have a couple of crazies in ours!
7) Getting the mail - each visit to the mailbox has unlimited potential to give a big surprise. Even though it usually ends up being junk mail and bills.
8) Vacation - I love to travel but also just plain days off work. I love being paid to not work.
9) Seeing you (& and all of our other babies) moving all over on the ultrasounds. It is so fun to see you up on the screen and wonder at the amazement that you are doing all of that in my tummy & I can't even feel it.
10) Meat - Beef, Chicken, Pork, some fish... I could never be a vegetarian. Not in my make up!

10 things I hate -
1) Things that disturb my sleep - noise, light, the TV being on, your dad snoring, the temperature being too hot or cold, having to get up and go to the bathroom all of the time, the alarm clock...
2) Pregnancy "morning sickness" - who are they kidding? It is 24x7. Anyone that has it just in the morning is darn lucky.
3) Mushrooms and raw tomatoes (unless they are in a really good salsa)
4) People that eat like pigs, don't exercise and are skinny!
5) When your dad reads his blackberry or dials the phone when he is driving. Drives me nuts that he is losing his focus when he could crash the car.
6) 5-6 months out of the year in Nebraska when it is so hot that you want to die or so cold that you think you have frost bite.
7) People that always want something for nothing - they find a hair in their dinner and want to eat there free for the rest of their lives. Also, I really dislike this sense of entitlement that seems to be so prevalent in society. I admit that I have a touch of it but the extent to which I see it now is crazy!
8) While I am not a political person, I really hate the way our country is being ran right now. I truly am scared for our economy and the fallout of all this spending when we don't have any cash. I always said it didn't matter to me because I didn't have any kids but if we keep it up, you are hosed!
9) People who don't take accountability for their own lives and actions. I guess that kind of goes with the entitlement thing but we are all responsible for the course of our lives. Buck up and take responsibility!
10) Shaving my legs - while I think you are a girl, if you are a boy, you won't have to worry about this :)