Hi boys,
Some days, there are days that your dad and I look at each other and I say "When the heck is the nanny coming to work?" We have days that Elijah is a whiney, crying mess. That he is talking back and not listening. We have days that Joey does nothing but arch his back and scream. The best days are when you are both doing those things all at the same time and then fighting with each other at the same time.
But, those days pale in comparison to the good days - the mommy days - the days that I love being a mommy. The days that I look at you guys and sigh at the joy that you both are. Today was one of those days. While I want Elijah sleeping by himself, I can't think of a better way to wake up that the way I did today. Your daddy was up getting ready and Elijah & I were trying to avoid waking up at all costs (normal morning). All of a sudden, Elijah rolls over puts his arm around me, strokes my head and says "Mommy? I love you." *be still my heart*
Gramma has been picking you guys up from Mary's since my surgery. When you get home, there is nothing better than Elijah running up and screaming "Mommy" and being happy to see me. On great days, you will give me a great big hug. Joey will come up and give me a great big smile and just an overall happiness to see me. Yesterday, I heard Elijah screaming "Mommy" and then Joey yelling "MaMa." Joey cannot say "I love you" yet but nothing makes me happier than his big smiles.
When I was pregnant with Elijah, one thing I had prayed for was for me to open up my heart a bit and be able to communicate my feelings better. I had hoped that I could freely say "I love you" because that is hard for me. Thankfully, that has come true. I can freely say "I love you" to you guys multiple times a day. My reward for that is those spontaneous "Mommy, I love you"s. I could not be more pleased with those rewards.
But, it made me wonder something today. I was pondering all this in my head while I was heating my breakfast up. I was wondering if Elijah knows what that means when he says it. Those words carry so much weight and meaning & I have a hard time believing that you understand what they mean. But, you doesn't toss them around lightly either. I will hear "You are mean, mom" several times a day but "I love you" only once or twice a day. So, at some level you must understand they are special and have a positive meaning.
Anyway, nothing substantial for either of you boys in this post. Just some ramblings in my head and that is always a case of being incoherent and flighty and long winded. But, love you both and love when you are so lovey dovey to me.
