I was watching an Oprah special and she had a pastor on. He was talking about how Jesus had 2 loaves of bread and he blessed them. Then he broke them to become too many to count to feed all the people. He said "You understand then, that the blessing is in the breaking. That which refuses to be broken refuses to be blessed. It is the breaking of life that produces the blessing of life. Now I know a lot of you in here don't understand that because you yourselves have not been broken. But, I have noticed in my life that the most blessed people I have ever met in my life have gone through something that broke them."
As he was speaking, I was struck down by its truth. It reaffirmed that your dad and I had to go through something that broke us (many, many, heartbreaking times it broke us) to be blessed with you two. It didn't seem like a blessing at the time. It seemed like a curse. But, I can honestly say that the blessing it gave me - appreciation for you both - was worth the heartache then. Even if I had to redo it, I still think I would because that appreciation is so great that it is a gift from God. There are days when I will get tears in my eyes at my blessings - you, your dad, jobs, a backyard with a swing set and garden starting. Small things. Small things that I may have taken for granted if I hadn't experienced the heart-wrenching journey to get here.
Trips are great. Electronics are fun. But, nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - can replace any of these small moments....
Elijah: "I wub you too mommy."
Joey saying "mamamamamama"
Elijah patting Joey on the tummy saying "It's all right, baby."
Your daddy playing with you two and all three of you giggling.
Joey smiling, batting his eyelashes and tilting his head flirting with me.
Holding you both in my lap and rocking.
Yep, no doubt about it - I was broken for years and now, I am the most blessed.
