BORN!!

Hi Baby Elijah,
I am sitting here watching you sleep, stretch and make noises. You are so flipping cute that I can hardly stand it. You make these wussy little noises that we make fun of. You look just like your dad - no mom in there at all. You tease us and play with us and have made our lives complete.

I haven't decided what I am going to do with your blog yet but figured I owed you a closing chapter in telling you all about your birth. I may keep writing to you on here and posting photos so your family can see how big you are getting and read about how silly you are. We have time to figure that out but, now, it is time to go back to Monday and tell you all about our week.

We took Dad to his MRI on Monday morning and it was so flipping funny I could barely stand it. He came out all wild eyed and talking a mile a minute. I bet his heart rate was going crazy. Turns out your dad is claustrophobic and he didn't know it. We got to Labor & Delivery and he was still flipping out. I told Dr. Bonehead that it was the most he has seen him speak in 6 years! I think the nurses thought he was flipping out that we had he potential to have a baby that day but, no, he was flipping out about the MRI. He said he kept trying to calm himself down by thinking about you. But, then, he remembered that you were also about to come down the birth canal and you would be as claustrophobic as he was. Your dad is so silly but he sure did keep me entertained for quite a few hours with his MRI horror experience.

As for your mom's stitch removal, Dr. Bonehead said "Oh, try it without meds. It won't be bad." So, I tried it without meds. Yeah, that didn't work so hot for us, did it? It was horrible. I was pushing away on the table away from the doctor and you were pushing away inside (ok, that is a load of hooey but it sure would make sense for what will be the next part of the story). We finally got some drugs but they didn't really help so we just had to live through it. Once he got that stitch out, we were 3 cm dilated and we waited an hour for changes and labor to start.

After that hour, there were no changes. I don't know if we will ever know if you were induced because there truly was a medical need or because Dr. Bonehead was taking pity on us. He said due to our history and the diabetes, it made more sense to induce you. I told him that I would buck up and go home if it was best for you. But, I was really concerned about my sugars. It seemed like the last two weeks, I just couldn't get them right and didn't know which was healthier for you - stay in there a bit more with high/low sugars or come out early. I can tell you that if he would have sent us home, I would have been miserable. The pressure in my tummy was so much that I couldn't stand it.

At 4:30, my water was broke and they were trying to put internal monitors on you and me. Oh my gosh baby, that was painful and we were scooting away again. I think you were moving up higher again to escape all those probes. They told me that the contractions were going to get more painful now but to try to get through as many as I could before we ordered the epidural. I tried buddy, I really tried but by about 7:00, I couldn't do it anymore. They were so bad. We finally got an epidural around 7:30 and I could stop crying. Your dad really was trying to be good to us - he was giving us ice chips, he turned on Nickelback for me to listen to, he was trying to rub my hand - but, you know I don't go for that. I preferred staring at the wall, breathing and eventually, crying!

At 8, they checked us again and we hadn't dilated anymore. You were so high and you were not moving down at all. I firmly believe that you were just trying to escape all that pain because you were not that high the whole pregnancy! Once we got the epidural, you were beating me up! I couldn't feel the contractions anymore (amen) but each time one would come, I would know it because you were flipping out on my rib cage the entire contraction. At 9, no changes and it was time to decide to have a C-Section. I didn't really know how to make an informed decision on this so I left it up to Bonehead. Because you were not moving and you were measuring so big, he said it was the best decision. Now, I know that some of your family (*cough* your Aunt Sheila *cough*) believes that we had a hard time because you were not ready to come out. This may totally be true. Maybe in 2 more weeks, you would have started moving down on your own. However, I still don't think we would have been able to have a natural delivery with you - you were too big.

I have to confess that the prospect of having you via CSection was not something I was too thrilled about. Yes, it gets me two more weeks off work but I really would have preferred to have you naturally. Then, there was just the fear of the operating room and being cut open. But, all that went surprisingly well. We didn't even know I was being cut open. I kept telling your dad not to look - keep his eyes away from the tummy and blood. It was a weird sensation feeling you being pulled out - there was lots of tugging and pulling. The doctors were talking about how big your shoulders were and how big your head was and how you would never make it out the other way :)

Then, all of a sudden, we heard a little squawk and we knew it was you. Just a tiny little squawk and I knew my son was here! We got a few cries out of you but I don't know that I have ever heard a sound better to my ears than that little pipsqueak squawk. Your dad went over to visit you & take your pictures while your mom just got to lay there and be tended to. Then, I got to see you. Heck, I don't know why they even let me see you - just show me your dad's baby photo and I would be looking at you. All Daddy!! You guys were whisked away to the nursery and I went to recovery.

About 90 minutes later, I got to see you again and touch you and smooch you. All those months of imagining you and gazing at your ultrasounds and it was still surreal to think you were really here and really OK. Your apgar tests were good, your sugars were only a tiny bit low and bounced right back up. Then, you and your dad left me again to go get your first bath.

After all that, the rest of our week is a blur of smooching you, you making little wimpy noises, visitors and still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you are real, you are here and you have completely taken us over :) You are such a good baby so far - you only make noises when there is something really wrong. You are trying so hard to be a good boy and learn how to breast feed. You look at your dad and I through the corner of your eye and tease us. You are a miracle baby!

Your dad has done an excellent job of becoming a dad. Because I am in a lot of pain, he pretty much has been taking care of you besides feeding you. He changes your diapers and your clothes. He burps you. He walks around holding you & just gazing down at you. He looks at you then looks at me and says "He is just awesome." Oh my goodness - it was that tiny, little bitty squawk and he was wrapped around your finger permanently. As much as we talked about being the disciplinarians, you have not slept in your little hospital bassinet yet. You slept in my bed the first two nights. Last night, you slept on your dad's tummy, at the nursery for a couple of hours then with me for a couple of hours. SPOILED.

We will take you home tomorrow. They are going to watch my sugars today and watch your coloring. You have a tiny bit of jaundice. You will probably get some light therapy tomorrow. Then, we will go home and start 2010 off in our new little family of 3!!!

FULL GROWN!

Hi Baby Elijah!
Little man, you are officially full term. You can officially be born - 37 weeks. Last night at midnight, your dad was half asleep and he rolled over and said "It is midnight. He is 37 weeks." Then, we turned on my iPhone and your pregnancy program and watched the pregnancy progress bar fill all the way to the green :) It said "Your baby boy is now full term." Can you believe all we have made it through and you are nearly here - your immaculate conception, your cervical stitch, your mom's constant whining and all of our constant anxiety. Now, you are a full term, big fat pig. The pregnancy program said I should stop gaining weight now but you will continue to put on a few ounces here and there.

We had another big day yesterday, huh? Christmas at Great Gramma Lang's - photos, gift exchange, dinner and games. We drank too much Diet Coke, ate too much sugar, and went too long without resting. Holy mackerel you were a crazy man last night. About 1:30, you finally calmed down and we fell asleep. At 5:15, we were up and ready to go. I am sure that we will be crashing for a nappy this afternoon. I think you know it is almost time for you to bust out of there so you are just partying away!

I had a dream last night that I was watching our various videos of you and there was a photo of you sticking your tongue out at me but, this time, you had a clearly visible butt chin. I was so excited. I also dreamt that Great Grampa Lang popped in to say hi to us. I am sure that he, along with your other Grampas, will be watching out for us over the next few days to make sure your arrival is safe. When I had to wake your dad up at 5:15 (just because we were up), I had to tell him about your butt chin. He said "I hope he does have a butt chin for your sake." haha.

It seems like the people we talk to are split on whether or not you will be here tomorrow. About half agree with me that your stitch will come out (oh man, you are stretching that thing to the max and pushing it down where I think I could take it out now) and you will fall out. The other half just like to torture your mom and say "you have another month to go - he won't be here Monday." Let's hope we show those naysayers the light because I am so ready to meet you and ready to have all this pressure out of my tummy.

One interesting note that fascinates me. Your Uncle Zach likes to take a lot of photos and he publishes them on various websites. For Christmas, he put them into a little book for Gramma Lang and added some of his writing to it. It turned out SO GOOD (even though *sigh* we didn't get a copy). When I was looking at it, there was a page of musical lyrics on there and, guess what? ELIJAH was on the page. Coincidence or not? I have seen the photo but I didn't remember seeing Elijah on there. I think it may have been the seed that planted your name into my consciousness.

Well, little one, that is about it. I am having a hard time believing that tomorrow could be the day that our little family goes from 2 to 3. That also means that we transform from Mark and Stacy to Mommy and Daddy. Amazing. I tend to ignore the part in between now and then where I transform into a raging, hormonal, threatening-to-kill-your-dad chic :) You have my permission to party hearty in there for another 28 hours or so - give your mom a final day to remember. Then, for heaven's sake, pop out already!!!

Merry Christmas Baby!

Hi baby Elijah!
One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Merry Christmas baby" by Bruce Springsteen so I am singing that to you today. It is a weird Christmas - we have so much snow that Christmas at Great Gramma Lang's is rescheduled. I don't know that this has ever happened! As long as you stay in there cooking, we will be happy - no need to brave a blizzard to have you a couple of days early!

Yesterday, we had Christmas Eve breakfast with your Brigham family and Gramma Debbie's family. Yes, you spoiled brat, you did get presents :) You got some clothes (in bigger sizes you big-fat-pig) and a recliner and a kitchen set. See, your mom never had a kitchen set so I have been whining about that for 30+ years. Your Gramma Debbie decided that she would nip that problem early. Afterwards, we relaxed, watched TV, napped and just hung out.
Last night, we went for Christmas Eve over Great Gramma Lang's. Everyone laughed and had a good time but we will need to have you wear ear plugs because there was a lot of cursing going on. Need to shield you from that because heavens knows you will never hear that come out of your mom or dad's mouth :)

As the weekend continues on, I think our level of anxiety is going to be going up. Your dad started last night and I think I will end up starting late tomorrow. This labor thing kind of flips me out. This labor thing flips your dad out too :) Can we just both take a nappy and wake up to have you here with us? That would work for both of us.

Late Breaking development...

Baby Elijah,
Did you feel that? Did you feel that wash of peace and relaxation flow through our bodies? Dr. Bonehead faxed a note and we are done working. No more work for several weeks! Personally, I think he did it because he knows there is no way on God's green earth that we are going to have you on 12/28 so he wanted to give me one less thing to whine about. Your dad's vote is that he did it because he knows we are going to deliver on 12/28 so it didn't hurt him to take me out now. Either way, we are free for at least 6 weeks.

Dr. Appointment

Hi Baby Elijah - or as I now call you "Monster Baby"!
You got another clean bill of health today buddy. I wasn't paying too much attention to the screen because the pressing was making me uncomfortable but your dad was watching close. Let's get down to business with everything I have to tell you...

Your dad got a clean bill of health yesterday! Good news, huh? But, it sure was a long day for us sitting there waiting for him. He has to do another test on Monday to see if they can figure out what is wrong with him.

Could you tell we woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? We woke up with rage issues then subjected the entire doctor's office to them. At least we warn them in advance, huh? I told our nurse immediately I had rage issues so they were all prepared.

As we could have predicted, the Dr. won't give in and induce us next week. All he will say is "We will see what happens." So, he will take my stitch out and we will walk around for an hour or so and see if you decide to pop out. Then, he let me know that he is only working on Monday next week so if you come after that, he won't deliver you. He followed that up with a great announcement that the dr. we hate is the one on call this holiday weekend. If you come after 12:00 on Christmas Eve, we are hosed. But, you know what, I am OK with that. I would rather you be born and deal with the doctor we hate than continue being miserable. :) Besides, I think the nurses do all the work and the dr. is just there to catch you.

So, have you been waiting for me to tell you if you are a big-fat-pig with a big-fat-head? Well, the answer to that question is a big fat astounding YES. You are measuring 39 weeks in all of your measurements - at least your head isn't out of proportion to the rest of your body. Are you ready for your weight? Darn kid - you are 8 pounds. They said the ultrasound is off by 1/2 lb one way or the other but one thing is for sure - you are a big-fat-pig. I saw your dad's eyes get wide, his face get all scrunched up and him look panicked. I was like "What is wrong?" He kept seeing your measurements and then finally your weight and he got a little freaked out :)

We went to lunch afterwards and he was telling me about everything I missed on the ultrasound. Apparently, your head and tummy are so big, she could not get them to fit on the screen. She had to kind of add to the measurements on the screen to get to the right ones. Zooming out didn't help either. So, big head and big belly. There is room for debate on who's side of the family you take after since, as your dad so delicately put it "There are healthy eaters on both sides." Between you and me, I think he is secretly thinking my side in his head. She also had a hard time measuring your noggin because you are so darn low. You are in good position to make your debut.

Well, it doesn't look like we are going to have a a baby Elijah for Christmas after all. If you want to come on your own, just break that juice bag and we will get you up to the hospital. The weather is supposed to get bad soon so if you decide to come on your own, the sooner the better :) You can even come on Christmas if you want - just need to make sure you don't decide to break your juice bag on Gramma's couches - haha. I don't think I realized how much we were hoping you would come for Christmas until we realized you weren't coming. Even your dad looked a little down when we were talking about the upcoming Christmas festivities.

So, Monster 8lb baby Elijah, we will talk to you soon and I will keep singing to you. I gave you a stern lecture yesterday telling you to come out and you started moving and punching on the stitch. You are giving it your best effort, that is for sure :)

Oh-oh Elijah!
Please come today.
I am begging you please to be born...

36 weeks

Hi Mr. Elijah!
Let's sing a song together. Remember how I told you that every time I said your name I thought of that song "Cecilia"? We are going to use that chorus. Are you ready?

Oh-oh Elijah,
Please come today.
I am begging you please to be born.

Can you hear me singing it to you? :) If you can hear it, you are ignoring me. December 20 sure does sound like a good birthday to me. If not, tomorrow will work. We are going to the hospital at 11 so your dad can have a test. He should be done at 1:30 and he already told me that he does not want to wake up at 1:30 and have a newborn Elijah handed to him :) So, tomorrow afternoon would work. Or, if you just want to be stubborn, we will be back at the hospital on the 22nd for your doctors appointment. That day would work too. 23, 24 and 25 really don't work so well for us with the holidays and all so let's focus on the next 3 days then we can skip to the 26. Sure would be nice if I could control the situation as easily as that. I will just keep singing our song to you until you pop out.

We had a busy day yesterday, huh? We saw your Godmother Becky and lots of Grampa Larry's family. We baked cookies all day with them. We went to the diaper store and bought some fun things. But, we sure were tired, huh? I should have taken more breaks and laid down because you are not used to that sitting up right all day. But, we made it through.

Today, big drum roll please, you are 36 weeks. I know I told you last week you could come but, really, I didn't want you to come any earlier than 36 weeks. Now, in my mind, you are good to go. Medically, the doctors would say you have 7 more days until you are full term. Your odds of survival are as high as they are going to get - 99+% and your medical problems are as low as they are going to get. From what I have read, the week between 35 and 36 is pretty crucial for you to be able to eat well on your own and you are past that. If you were a turkey, your red button would probably be half way out - ready to poke out all the way in 7 days.

Did you feel me laughing so hard yesterday that my tummy hurt? Oh my gosh, your dad cracked me up for a solid 10 minutes. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. We were talking about catching you in a compromising situation and how he would stand there going "um...um...um...stay there while I get your mom." He says he is the big disciplinarian but the compromising situation we were speaking of left him speechless where he would be yelling "STACY...." across the house. Then, can't you see him smiling at you and taunting you "You are in so much trouble...." I could not stop laughing. Just so you know (when the time comes), that is what back seats of cars are for - not my house.

I think you are getting STRONG! I felt you move so I put my hand where I felt you moving and it really wasn't a subtle roll. I could feel bones moving around. I am assuming it is your hands/arms because it was really low. Your feet are really high pressing on my diaphragm but there is enough movement really low that I think your arms are still up over your head. It was weird to feel something so solid move across my tummy and not just flutters or individual thumps. I just can't imagine what it is going to be like when my tummy is empty again. I probably won't have time to think about it much because if I did have time, I will probably be trying to take a nappy :)

Well, kiddo, that is it for you for today. No work for us tomorrow with your dad's test and we will be asking all of your Grampas to keep an eye out on him. Then, in about 48 hours, we will get to see you for an extended amount of time because it is our final big ultrasound. They will measure you and tell us if you are a big-fat-pig with a big-fat-head. Then, I will pass out thinking that big-fat-head needs to come out of somewhere :) I don't know if it is a good photo opportunity or not but it is exciting to think that it is probably our last big ultrasound. Soon, we will get to see you putting your arms up in pictures in real life :)

Oh-oh Elijah,
Please come today.
I am begging you please to be born.

So well behaved...

Hi kiddo!
I have to give you credit for something kiddo - you already listen pretty darn well. Ever since I have been able to feel you move, there have only been two times that I have been worried and you haven't moved when I told you to. Every other time, within about 5 minutes, you will give me a little something-something to know you are ok. It is like I think it and you move. Tonight, I realized you had been sleeping for about 2 hours and I hadn't felt you. Within about 2 minutes, you moved.

But, outside of that, you sure did listen to me yesterday. Remember how I told you to knock down the baby hormone juice? Well, you sure did something. Today, I was not sad so you adjusted something. But, I think you turned it a little bit too far in the opposite direction. Now, you have turned me into a raging, crabby, irritable lunatic. There are other words for it but we don't need to teach you those yet. Think maybe we can swing it about 1/2 way back so I am kind of balanced in the middle? Can we shoot for that tomorrow? We only have a few days left so let's work together to make sure that we can get that baby juice worked out and your mom isn't arrested for murder.

Before I drug us up for the night, I thought I would show you a little present I bought for myself. I found it on the internet and I thought I needed something special for you and your brothers. I love it! But, I have to ask you to oblige me something. Please have a penis. I know how silly that sounds and each ultrasound, they keep showing us you have one but I am really begging you to grow one in these last couple of weeks if you don't have one now because not only is your name on your wall, it is now on my necklace and it sure would look silly if we had to name you Jillian because you didn't have a penis. The outside layer has your brothers' names on it - these are the 3 that we actually gave birth to and were able to hold. Then, I put the birthstones on the crystals for the little ones that we lost earlier in their pregnancies. Finally, in the middle of everything (kind of like I anticipate you to be), we have you - baby Elijah. I think it is so pretty and I can't wait to wear it for a night out. (Side note - I will like it even more when I lose some fat on my neck and it hangs down a little lower. haha)